I understand now, why people of all stripes like the idea of running away. The idea of escape, of starting over, of beginning anew is enticing to many. I believe that in time people build a momentum in their lives that largely determines where they will end up—of how things will ultimately turn out for themselves. Perhaps that is what fate is, however I imagine some would object and say many allow themselves to drift through life, like a feather in the wind. In those cases I guess fate transmutates into chance.
Then there is the third way, which is a combination of the two. I am unsure of what proportions my own life is composed of, but my intuition informs me it leans more on the momentum side. That is what I surmise when it comes to my work history, a history that casts a shadow, a type of curse that I must fight against if I am ever to improve my circumstances. While I am currently a de-facto co-owner of a small business, the mortgage payment is a very heavy ball and chain and is dragging down any possibility of prospering.
If by some magic I woke up tomorrow and owned The Rocket free-and-clear of any indebtedness it would be akin to winning the lottery. There is enough money being made to get by, if there wasn’t a mortgage payment due. I even took on work elsewhere, and because of my previous jobs it is in the food industry again, this is what I meant by the curse, and of momentum. I need to find a way to break the chain of fate, to break into…a new field of possibility. Perhaps I just need to leverage my education in the right directions?
I’ve expressed my aversion before at the idea of participating more directly in politics, but perhaps those feelings have softened. I plan on running in the future, probably at the local level first. Perhaps even earlier than that I will try to find an internship with the city? I’ll never find a way out of my situation if I don’t allow for every possibility, I need to be pliable if I wish to reshape this path I find myself on.